The yellow walls are lined with portraits
by across.the.universe
Summary: Who needs therapy when there is an apartment to clean? While Summer is cleaning her apartment she comes to terms with the problems in her life. Set in the future. Please R
1. All these poses

Well this is my first piece of fanfiction so please bare with me! I'm just getting use to the layout and rules so if I've made any mistakes can someone please help me? This chapter is somewhat short but I'll promise to make them longer as the story continues. Please R&R, thank you. OK enough of me rambling on. Enjoy!

"Don't make any plans to go out this weekend, its going to be cold and wet Friday through 'until next week. The next weather report is up at the top of the hour. On now on to sports..."

Summer groaned and rolled over to look at the clock.

"6.00"

Ever since moving out of Newport with Seth a 6 months ago she was waking up earlier. She looked out her window only to be greeted by dark storm clouds hovering above. Raindrops settled against the glass. Summer traced one as it curved down the window. "I miss Newport." She would never say it out loud; it was part of her continuous job in convincing Seth that she has happy. A job that took most of her energy. But Seth wasn't here today, he left the night before on business.

"I miss Newport" she whispered. She looked around expecting someone to come out of her closet to scold her. But no one appeared

"I miss Newport," she said a little louder.

"I miss Newport." Louder.

"I miss Newport." She was now yelling. The forcefulness in her voice caught her off guard. Where had Summer Roberts gone? She hid behind her lies and fears. She used to be able to confront things head on but now she ran away from her problems.

She was so tired of running.

She was surprised at how scared she was looking at her empty bed. The blankets sat in a crumpled pile on one side of the bed. Even her bed was lonely.

She looked around. Their bedroom was a mess. Cloths littered floor, boxes laid unopened, the bookshelves were overflowing and the paint was peeling.

" Your external life influences your internal life." She remembered reading that in a magazine and reciting it to Seth when they fixed up Marissa's room. She smiled these were what she lived for. Memories.

"Maybe I'll fix up the apartment, it beats laying around watching 'The Valley' and 'The Golden Girls' reruns."

She opened the closet door and was welcomed by the familiar sent of Seth washing over her. Normally it would have made her smile, she loved how he smelled and the feeling of comfort it gave her. But the previous night's fight was still raw in her mind.

"_Summer what's wrong, and don't say 'nothing' I'm sick of hearing that excuse."_

_How could he expect her to say something to that. There were so many things wrong that they swirled around in her head like flies. She would try to grab them, try to pin them down and confront them but she would get scared and let them slip through her fingers. There were so many things wrong that she didn't know where to start._

_She looked at him. He wanted to help her, she could tell. She had seen that look before. He loved her. He actually loved her. His love scared her and she didn't know why, which scared her the most._

"_Summer, what's wrong?"_

"_Nothing"_


	2. shades of mediocrity

AN-Wow, I'm so glad people like the story. Thank you so much for the reviews they're what keep me motivated. I'm open to ideas if anyone was any. Thanks again and enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C.

A loud clap of thunder made Summer jump.

"Even the weather is angry," she thought as she looked through the closet searching for some cleaning appropriate clothing. She settled for a T-shirt of Seth's in hopes of ruining it.

Something on the top shelf of the closet caught her eye. She pulled down a book and soon came to realize it was an old yearbook from her days at Harbor. She slid onto the floor and slowly flipped through the pages. She had to laugh at some of the messages people had written. Things like "Your awesome, never change" and "have a kick ass summer." She turned the page and found a picture of Marissa. She sighed, it had been awhile since she had last talked to her best friend. It wasn't that they had gotten into a fight, it had just been too painful for Summer to talk to Marissa in the last while. She knew Marissa was one of the only people who could have understood what she was going through, but all her life Summer had to play the happy friend. Marissa was the one who was sad or angry and Summer was always there with a hug or a smile to help cheer her up. Summer wasn't ready for the tables to turn, to admit that something was wrong.

Clearing out the bedroom to Summer's dismay was a lot harder then expected. After hours of grunting, crying and a lot of cursing the room was almost ready to be painted. Looking around Summer noticed how the room actually looked smaller without the clutter then with. It seemed that the room was fuller when it held life, for now it seemed bare and hollow.

She searched the apartment for leftover paint to touch up her bedroom. She read the paint names out loud "creamy beige, stone fence grey, creek blend blue."

"Ok there is no way I'm painting my room 'creamy beige.' My room deserves new colour, I deserve a new colour."

She slipped on a rain jacket over her grimy cleaning clothes; she honestly didn't care what other people thought at this point. Grabbing an umbrella she closed the door behind her and set of on the wet day in search of a paint store which could sell her brighter colored paint then "stone fence grey."

As she strolled the drippy streets she looked at the people around her. An elderly man whistled an old tune as he quickly walked past her, a mother laughed as her toddler whispered a secret into her ear and a young couple squealed in delight as a large boom of thunder echoed through the skies.

"Why can't I be like them?" Summer thought to her self "Why can't I be happy?" And in that one moment Summer made a promise to herself. She was sick of hiding and avoiding her problems she made a vow in the middle of the pouring rain to confront what was wrong in her life.

As she continued walking she noticed how her bedroom was a metaphor for what she was feeling. All this time she had just let the clutter settle but now she was ready to dive in and find out what was wrong.


	3. Old habits die hard

I am so sorry that this has taken so long to get to you guys. My life has been really hectic lately (try adopting two new kids in the family.) Hopefully writing at least this chapter will help me get back on the schedule of writing. I hope you enjoy this long overdue chapter. Please R&R, thank you so much!

Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C. **sigh**

It had been over two hours.

Summer paced through the aisles looking at each of the colours closely and with sheer determination to pick the best colour. The man behind the counter grunted as she looked at a shade of red for the umpteenth time. Summer just shrugged off his look; of course he couldn't understand that picking a colour was one of the most important things she was doing in her life at this moment.

"What colour?" she thought. It didn't matter what a magazine told her was the right colour for the season or what would match her bed spreads. No, buying this paint was a healing method far beyond what any therapist could offer.

"I need to be happy. W hat's a happy colour?" She strolled passed the blues "No, to melancholy." Glanced at the browns "No way"

and with a painful look quickly passed the purples remembering her old bedroom. Then at the end of an array of reds and oranges she saw the colour she wanted. It was perfect, happy yet gentle. An arrow pointing her on the right path.

Yellow. A soft shade of yellow beckoned quietly to summer to pick it. In that moment Summer had a moment. One of those moments that come as quickly as they go but hit you hard. Hair frizzy from the rain and with mascara ruining Summer had a moment. This was the beginning. She had awoken from the sleep she had been occupying for months. She had finally stopped running.

The old man at the counter sighed happily as she approached the counter with a happy grin. He mumbled something under his breath but Summer didn't care at the moment.

Walking back to her apartment she once again looked at the happy people around her and for the first time in awhile felt like one of them.


	4. Let it bleed

Thank you so much everyone for the great reviews! It really makes me want to write more when I receive them, no matter if they're positive or not. I'm sorry for the long update once again. So please enjoy this new chapter and R&R

As she slid her key into the lock and opened the door slowly Summer was met with a wave of melancholy. Old sheets covered furniture, boxes were stacked high. Everything seemed dead. Her eyes swept the room looking for anything that could comfort her as she made this leap from into the unknown.

Summer got started right way. She dipped her paintbrush into the creamy yellow and watched as the extra paint dripped back into the can making small little patters. She stood looking at her bedroom wall. Minutes passed. The clock ticked, the wind out side hollered but there was silence in the apartment. The phone rang off in the distance but she remained where she was. The wall toward over summer's petite body. " I am afraid of a wall." Saying this out loud made her laugh. She repeated it and noticed how childish her fear was. She raised her brush, still laughing, and painted a strip of yellow onto the gritty wall.

"This is it, this is the beginning." She drew another strip, then another. Smiling she re-dipped her paintbrush. "This is good." Soon she was lost in her own world of painting. Although she new that she had bigger issues to face, for right now she was content with just painting.

Hours latter she resurfaced for dinner. As she reached for the phone to call her favourite Thai restaurant she noticed that the red message button was blinking. The caller Id read Seth's cell phone number. She listened to the message, her heart beating.

"Hey summer, I was really hoping I'd get you. Well I've decided to stay an extra few days. When I get back though we have to talk. Sum? We both know we have to talk... Bye"

She sighed, she knew this was coming talking to Seth was something inevitable, but know she knew she could face him.


End file.
